His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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