Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
