Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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