I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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