At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I believe in your delicious
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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