my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
