Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
