my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
