My hair reeks of homosexuality.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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