You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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