You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
