Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
