im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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