I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
please don't ironically join a cult
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