I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
