Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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