dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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