your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
