I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
