i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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