I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
