apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
