no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I supernannyed him into submission
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
