It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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