Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
