This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
