I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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