It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
