Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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