Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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