and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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