i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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