Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
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I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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