it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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