So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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