Sry I called you an 8
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
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the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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