i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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