just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize