Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize