He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
