It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
