You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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