she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
