No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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