Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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