I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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