Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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