so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
