Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
