It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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