ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How many fucks given?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.