After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!