you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Mom said you looked used
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Randomize