This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
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I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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