Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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