Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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