If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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