Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
