I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize