we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
