Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
